stranger danger

Saturday, March 8, 2014

I meet the strangest people.

There is something weird about being enclosed in a metal box with strangers that brings out the awkward in everyone. 

One morning a few months ago, I parked my car and upon hopping out and locking it, said good morning to a nice middle-aged man whom I'd never seen before (that happens a lot when there are 5000 employees at your agency). I power walked into the building to avoid being in the 20 degree weather any longer than necessary because I forgot my jacket. 

Once I finally reached the slightly warmer entrance of the building, I was cheerily greeted by two people in santa hats handing out lanyards with holiday wishes attached to them, thanking everyone for all of their hard work. You're welcome, person I've never worked with before! 

My lazy butt hit the elevator button to go up to the second floor. My legs were still slightly frozen and my equilibrium refuses to function before 7 am. The next thing I heard...

"Well if I'd have known you were taking the elevator I'd have raced you in here." 

Umm... What? Yes, it was dude from the parking lot. I proceeded to wish this to be a short elevator ride. 

With floors 2 & 4 lit and the doors closing, parking lot dude ponders (out loud) the reasoning behind the choice of lanyards as thank you gifts to everyone. 

"Why would they give us lanyards? Everyone has something to hold their badge on already." 

Okay, good point. I nod in agreement with no clue how to respond because again, no coffee = no talkie. 

"Seriously, this probably wasn't the best option. I mean this is a weapon they're handing out. See? You could totally choke someone out with this!" [insert pantomime of strangling someone with a lanyard... Also include gurgling noises]

Those doors could not open up fast enough. I laughed the most awkward laugh of my life, and basically launched myself out of the elevator, barely wishing him a nice day. 

Ugh. So weird.